Billie Eilish opens up about lifelong battle with depression: ‘I’ve never been a happy person’

Billie Eilish is known for her emotional brand of dark pop, and the singer is opening up about the mental health struggles she’s faced.

Eilish, who is gearing up for the release of her third album “Hit Me Hard and Soft” next month, reflected on her lifelong battle with depression in an interview with Rolling Stone published Wednesday. The “What was I made for?” The singer revealed that she suffered an intense bout last summer.

“It was more real than ever,” Eilish told the magazine. “All my life, I’ve never been a happy person, really. I’ve been a cheerful person but not a happy person. I experience joy and laughter, and I can find fun in things, but I’m a depressed person.

“I’ve had a lot of depression my whole life. When things happen in my soul, or whatever, what I’ve always held onto is, ‘Well, it’s going to happen.’ It will come in waves, and it will get worse and better.” And that has always comforted me. And this time, I literally said, “I don’t even care if it gets better.” “

Clinical depression is often described as constant or frequent feelings of apathy, hopelessness, helplessness, or feeling so overwhelmed or disconnected from other people or events that it becomes difficult to even carry out the tasks or responsibilities of the day. day.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated in 2023 that nearly 1 in 5 American adults suffer from depression, and women are more affected than men by a difference of 24% to 13.3%.

Billie Eilish is back: The singer will return with her third album, ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’. Here are all the details.

How Going Outside Helped Billie Eilish Amid Depression Battle

As well as support from family and friends, Eilish said that getting away from the isolated lifestyle that often comes with celebrity helped her overcome her depression.

I had this moment like, Oh my God, I haven’t had fun in seven years. Really, Eilish said. I had this illusion that I had because who experiences going to the Grammys at basically 17 years old and winning five? But in life, I realized that I hadn’t really experienced that much. I haven’t been out in five years. How was he supposed to have any experience?

Eilish’s outings included going to grocery stores like Lassens, Erewhon and Target, attending a concert by punk rock band Turnstile, and popping into an ice cream shop with childhood best friend Zoe Donahoe.

I’m scared, Eilish continued. For (expletive) good reason. I’m afraid of people, I’m afraid of the world. It’s terrifying for someone like me, and even if I’m not scared, it means being turned on and being vulnerable and being seen and filmed and whatever. But with that in mind, I’ve chosen to do what scares me the most. I’m biting the bullet and existing in the world for once.

Billie Eilish at the SAG Awards: The singer autographs Melissa McCarthy’s face with a Sharpie during the SAG Awards stunt

But despite her outspokenness on the subject, Eilish is wary of becoming a role model for mental health.

I think it’s really weird when you’re in the middle of something and someone asks you to be the advocate for what you’re in the middle of, Eilish said. I get that it’s important, and I get that it’s an epidemic and it needs to be talked about, but I don’t want to (exclaim) be the role model for depression. What happens when I do something (something) that you won’t like?

If you or someone you know needs support for mental health, suicidal thoughts or substance abuse, call, text or chat:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988 and 988lifeline.org

BlackLine: 800-604-5841 and callblackline.com

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860 and translifeline.org

Veterans Crisis Line: Dial 988 and press 1 to speak to someone; send a text message to 988; or chat 988lifeline.org

Contributing: Daryl Austin, USA TODAY

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Billie Eilish opens up about lifelong battle with depression