People who say they are empaths but are actually narcissists exhibit these 3 subtle behaviors

Are they empathetic or are they narcissistic? A narcissism researcher points out the three red flags you should watch for if you suspect they’re toxic.

Most people who call themselves empaths or even a highly sensitive person (which is a genetic trait) usually genuinely do having a greater sense of empathy and compassion for others, as well as a fine-tuned intuition. The term empath is a colloquial way people can use to describe the experience of being highly in tune with the emotions of others and their environment. However, there are also times when people will claim to be empathetic but be anything but. We shouldn’t demonize the term empath, as it gives people significant validation about how they experience the world, so unless you see red flags, don’t rush to judge them. However, we it should still be picky about red flags. Here are three subtle behaviors you should watch out for if you think you might be in the presence of a cheater or narcissistic personality putting this tag:

They present a saccharine sweet moral image and an arrogant air of moral superiority in public, preaching goodness, yet engaging in bullying behavior towards others.

You’ve heard that the person who writes slogans like Love and Light and Be Kind to Others in their online bios often ironically turns out to be the meanest people and generally has a history of bullying other people (not always the case, but people have certainly noticed this phenomenon). Why that? It’s because people who are genuinely, morally good and kind don’t generally need to convey their own nature, kindness is their default, not the exception, so they don’t feel the need to present themselves in a certain light, simply they are in this way, and this quality can be seen in their long-term actions and behaviors. Nor do they feel compelled to impose moral absolutism in situations, especially those involving victims or vulnerable people, since they know how to look at scenarios in a more nuanced way (ie You won’t see a true empath tell a victim of chronic abuse that they were immoral for lying to their abuser to keep themselves safe, or if we continue with the social media example, they won’t blame and shame a victim for posting confident photos that show their beauty after a difficult time are only done by envious and narcissistic people). Often, the person who is genuinely transparent about both their flaws and their strengths, rather than an absolutist moral preacher who belittles and bullies people out of envy and a need to defend their own toxic behaviors, alone turn out to be the nicest because she’s not trying. so difficult to present yourself as morally superior or position yourself above others. That said, let’s go beyond how they present themselves: how do they generally behave in real life? Do they seem too sweet, just to violate your privacy or boundaries? Do they get angry when you set a healthy boundary? Do they smile at you, while they sadistically plot against you and try to sabotage you? Do they emphatically tell stories to draw attention to themselves in social settings and steal the spotlight from someone, even though they know someone else deserves to be heard?

Do they not respond when you express how they have wronged you with cruel silence and indifference, after a period of love bombing? Maybe they speak to you in a kind but condescending manner, while trying to belittle your accomplishments that surpass their own, out of envy? They might adopt a soft voice while congratulating you, just to steal your work and try to take the credit. Notice the discrepancy between words, actions, nonverbal gestures, and long-term patterns of behavior. This will tell you all you need to know about their true nature. If you are in a relationship or friendship with a manipulative person, it is important to heal them break the traumatic bond.

They point out virtues and show moral outrage over issues that affect others, but they don’t support people when push comes to shove. When confronted, they can play the victim.

The fake empath who is actually quite narcissist it always tells you who they really are. You just have to listen. Notice how they feign moral outrage over issues they know will gain them strength or praise (i.e. a narcissistic woman might claim to support survivors of domestic violence, but then turn around and shame the victims, or even -make friends with the aggressors). Then see how they do it in reality support vulnerable populations, if any, and the causes they speak for, as well as toxic and abusive people they may associate with. If they appear to support you, but associate with people who have wronged you or seem to engage in the very behaviors they feign outrage about, you know their virtue signaling is pretty hollow and their moral outrage is empty.

They talk a lot about how empathetic they are, but they are nowhere to be found when you really need their support, or you misuse their image of being empathetic to exploit you.

People who are genuinely empathic are emotionally validating, self-aware, and aware of how their actions affect others. They proactively anticipate people’s needs and often go out of their way to make people feel seen, heard and comfortable. Unless someone is actively being toxic to them or there is a specific scenario where they are burned out or traumatized, they are all too willing to help in any way they can to help someone feel better and empower and empower the people. This, of course, should not be confused with having unhealthy boundaries where they allow themselves to be used as an emotional sponge or punching bag or settle for unreciprocated relationships. Empathic people also deserve to be helped in turn. In their interactions with you, they will be emotionally validating and receptive, not callous and insensitive (with long-term actions and behaviors to back up their words). The false empath who is narcissistic or psychopathic, on the other hand, will reveal his cruelty and self-centeredness quite quickly. They want to know what’s in it for them and will exploit your traumas and vulnerabilities to weaponize them against you later. They may even chastise you for expecting support, especially if it’s inconvenient for them in some way or conflicts with their hidden personal agendas. They will only give you emotional support if they think there is some kind of reward. Truly empathetic people will have healthy boundaries with the people they help (that said, they are under no obligation to help toxic people who have hurt them), but they will be there for you in a genuine long-term way. They will not abandon or neglect the people who have been there for them or return your kindness with cruelty like narcissists do. | Shahida Arabi is a published researcher and best-selling author of six books, translated into more than 18 languages ​​worldwide.

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